Singer Hwasa revealed that she has struggled with anorexia and depression.
In the SBS special 'Bodymentary - Confessions About Weight' aired on the 29th, Kim Wan-sun, Han Seung-yeon, Jeon Hyo-sung, Soyou, and Hwasa, who have all graced an era, shared deep stories about the beauty of the body. Their candid confessions, hidden behind their glamorous appearances, shocked and resonated deeply with viewers.
The Bodymentary consists of six chapters: 'Women Who Can't Eat', 'Height-120', 'Shame, Heart', 'Minimum Weight', 'My Eating Disorder', and 'Dilemma', starting with Hwasa's story, which defied the unspoken idol beauty standards. Hwasa, who was confident with her unique appearance, recalled the petition for her withdrawal during her early debut, saying, "It's the fate of an idol, but especially back then, the standards of beauty seemed tight," with a bitter expression.
Han Seung-yeon, who regarded appearance management as part of her job, reflected on her time during the 'Mr.' activities with a wry smile. To fit into pants that revealed her stomach and short tops, she limited her water intake, and after months of activities, she found herself looking even thinner.
Soyou and Hwasa vividly shared the unexpected barriers they faced since their childhood when they purely dreamed of being singers.
Hwasa revealed that during her trainee days, when she was weighed and evaluated daily, she secretly ate a black sesame rice cake and thought, "After stressing myself to lose weight," she cried and threw up. She confessed that this led to anorexia and depression.
Soyou, who collapsed on the street due to extreme dieting and was taken to the emergency room, worried about gaining weight even while receiving IV fluids, and later experienced panic disorder.
Even amidst extreme stress over body management, the harsh standard of 'Height-120' (*weight must be 120 when subtracted from height) was unavoidable. They felt compelled to obsess over numbers due to this weight calculation method that followed them like an idol's formula. Jeon Hyo-sung, who repeated binge eating and extreme dieting, recalled her time when she weighed 50kg, saying, "I felt like I wasn't fulfilling my professional duty."
The cycle of experiencing 'shame' if they did not achieve the 'number' of weight has persisted for a long time. Kim Wan-sun, who created a sensation in the late 1980s and ushered in the era of 'video singers', was no exception.
She recorded her lowest weight after losing 4-5kg overnight due to a severe car accident, and when her slender figure received positive reactions, she maintained that weight for 15 years. She recalled that time, when she could barely eat a few bites of ice cream before going on stage, as "a time when I shone but was also very hungry."
In 2024, the evaluation of appearances is still ongoing. They also had a moment to read negative comments about their appearances, similar to 'reading hate comments from Hollywood stars', and it took countless struggles for them to accept this calmly. In particular, Hwasa, who expressed the pressure of beauty in her song 'Maria', vowed to continue speaking out after seeing fans who gained courage from her music.
Kim Wan-sun, Han Seung-yeon, Jeon Hyo-sung, Soyou, and Hwasa each faced their trials, including anorexia, binge eating disorder, panic disorder, and idiopathic urticaria, while recording their lowest weights. What they missed during the ups and downs of their lives was none other than 'the real me'. They participated in this documentary to convey the truth they realized only after hitting rock bottom.
According to the National Health Insurance Service, the number of anorexia patients under 20 has increased by 97.5% in the past five years. At this point, the production team felt the need to have an honest conversation about the standards of beauty we think about. 'Bodymentary - Confessions About Weight' asks us, "How about you?"
The honest stories of five individuals, which are also the stories of all of us, can be viewed again on the SBS website.
[Lee Da-kyum, Star Today Reporter]
